If you’re a black and white kind of person, you probably think there’s only ever one answer. Just like there’s right and wrong, good and bad, up and down. But, how right is right? How wrong is wrong? And if you’re always right, why am I always wrong? All of this boils down to limited thinking–the ego’s need to identify and label things in order to understand. But in the process of identifying and labeling, one important thing is missing. It’s the depth of your perception. Are you seeing the surface and neglecting to look under the hood? Do you think no one will notice?
Take pity for example. When you’re going through a hard time and you decide to open up to a friend about it, the last thing you want to hear is pity. Oh poor you! How could this happen? What are you going to do now that Johnny has left you, your friend stabbed you in the back and you’ve got fungus under your toenails? How will you ever walk again? Someone should just carry you around on their back for the rest of your life. Sounds dramatic, right? Well, that’s what pity loves–a big, stinking woe-is-me party. Yuck! Pity does not like genuine dialogue or anything remotely resembling resolution preferring to stay stuck in the problem, whether it’s for five minutes, five months or five decades.
I heard that pitying tone in a voicemail message earlier this week. It shook me up. I was repelled by the tone, but I also had to really look at the ways I encourage the unreasonable, show-stopping voice that lives inside my head to do exactly the same thing. There’s a long list of things running through my mind right now. But it feels like I would be indulging the babble by writing any of it here. So feel free to take a moment to let yours rip now.
OK, how did it feel to shake up your hornet’s nest? I feel like I need to wash my face again to get the film off me. When I look at it with awareness, I immediately want it gone because I see how pointless it is. But that sounds sort of black and white. Didn’t I start this whole thing off talking about how limited that kind of thinking is? Well, the tricky part is awareness.
Awareness is omnipresent, yet fleeting. Simple and completely illusive. If you’re striving to live your life filled with integrity and you speak your truth, you are probably aware when you see someone who isn’t living their life that way. Let’s face it, it’s much easier to see the behaviors of others. That’s why our greatest lessons come through your relationships with other people. They act as a mirror so that you are able to truly see yourself for all your beautiful mucky muck and rather than running away or denying it, you simply let it be.