Tagged with death

The Death of Self-Consciousness

The mirror has not been kind to me Reflecting back what I don’t want to see. Where I am trapped when I feel free, Locked inside the cage, when I see the key. I leave my body. I go away. Sometimes for an hour, perhaps a day. Where nothingness is everything. Where my heart can’t talk, but … Continue reading

The Thing About Fear Is…

Day 11: #Trust30 Project These are the voices which we hear in solitude, but they grow faint and inaudible as we enter into the world. Society everywhere is in conspiracy against the manhood of every one of its members. – Ralph Waldo Emerson I have made giant leaps in my life, I have taken huge risks … Continue reading

What Are You Afraid to Write About?

Day 8: #Trust30 Project The other terror that scares us from self-trust is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eyes of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them. – Ralph Waldo Emerson I have to be honest … Continue reading

Can I Handle the Seasons of My Life?

I had the pleasure of hearing Stevie Nicks rehearse a performance of “Landslide” this evening. This song has always been a favorite of mine, but the older I get, the more meaningful it has become. On the live version of the song, before she begins she dedicates it to her father. You can hear the … Continue reading

What I Found in the Middle of the Night

I woke up in the middle of the night to find my hand moving of its own accord into my shirt to feel the side of my left breast near my armpit. There was a small formation underneath the surface, the size of a small stone. I fell back asleep with thoughts of breast cancer … Continue reading

Forgiveness Is a Red Balloon

Today, I finally let you go. The fog has lifted. The rain swept through and cleaned the city’s smog from the windows. I always thought this would feel like a death. The death of you and the could-have-been of us. But, it didn’t. Hanging on was the deeper death of all my hopes and dreams … Continue reading