Free Hearted


When I finally take a moment to listen

To the bump, bump, bump in my chest

There is a question louder than expected,

Where have you been?

In my head, I reply.

Refining my ability to be ambivalent.

I read more about people like Angelina Jolie

Than I know about the war in Iraq.

I am more interested in the antics of the Kardashian clan

Than what’s happening to my own family.

This is what my heart says when I chose to listen.

I don’t want to see the places where I am stuck.

Encouraged to be deaf, dumb and blind,

In order to be a version of a woman

I think a man will want to love.

So I tune out and my life slides by

To a paycheck of fear and unresolvable stress.

Where I do not hesitate to cross the street

If I see someone I don’t like for no reason at all

Heading in my direction.

Relying on Facebook’s easy friendships

Living on the surface of my overly-surfaced life.

I promote any random thought as if it were significant.

Because I feel so insignificant unless I’m on television.

Then I must matter.

I can be counted for something by someone

Because surely someone is counting on me.

This is what my heart sees

When I open up my oblivious, disillusioned eyes.

But the moment I open my heart

The initial rush pours out like a waterfall

Dropping me faster than I am prepared to swim.

My heart longs to be free

Of the part I refer to as me

The fear, the need, the malevolent greed

I have almost drowned here before.

So, I jump.

To see the me that longs to be.

Where I am free of everything I know I am not

So I can be everything I know I already am.

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5 thoughts on “Free Hearted

  1. Lot’s of tough stuff laid to bare! So courageous. The fact that you are conscious of all this is quite amazing….your inner/outer true self wishes to grow 🙂 Exciting stuff! True mind-clearing (not visualization) meditation has helped me with this immensely. It has restored my inner being to the throne in my heaven….and like the overthrow of “Wormtongue” in LORD OF THE RINGS, my fears and greed are no longer in charge.

    • Hi Heidi,

      There’s no need to worry. This poem is my window view of society and the unnecessary and often misplaced expectations we put on ourselves. The “I” in the poem is meant to be interpreted by the reader so that they will see what they can see about themselves.

      That being said, I would love to see you when you’re in town…
      Marlene

  2. Pingback: bloomgirl » A Taste of Vulnerable

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