I harbor an inside enemy
Full-range emotional artillery
The self-made war I wage
Between the shadow and the sage.
She knows what hurts the most,
My unwelcome host,
Kicks me when I’m down.
She knows no bounds.
She’s staked her claim and freely roams
She calls herself my home.
I know her insidious M.O. well,
My ego’s own invented hell.
The eye-roll, the snarl, the hateful stare
I know because I put her there.
To contradict, to feign, to lie,
To make me hate, to make me cry.
Made of the places where light can’t shine
When I don’t believe what’s mine is mine.
To love, to feel, to hope, to heal
The wisdom to know and to be what’s real.
This beauty can no longer hide
The need for truth cannot subside.
It sees beyond where darkness grows
It slowly speaks and surely knows
The truth of me beyond this shell
of flesh and bone, of blood and smell.
The war within is a futile hole
To fight with my undefiable soul.
I cannot break because I bend.
I will not cancer, I only mend.